together

my hand reaches
your hand receives
my hands give

my heart yearns
your heart bleeds
my heart cares

my ears hear
your eyes see
my feet run

life hurts me
life wounds you
life becomes aware

together we battle
together we encourage
together we grow

giving
caring
running

aware
we grow

Rambling Journal Entry #161220

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Just relax.

My Life is an Open Book Ramble #161207

My Life is an Open Book Ramble #161207: Monthly meeting with my Psychologist report.

Rambling Journal Entry #161207

Rambling Journal Entry #161207: Succinct words yet still fail me

My Life is an Open Book Ramble #161115

My Life is an Open Book Ramble #161115: Three-month follow-up with my psychiatrist today.

Tears #161109

This is the first time tears have come so profusely, since my breakdown in February.

My Life is an Open Book Ramble #161108

My Life is an Open Book Ramble #161108: You know when your parents advise you to

update #161105

when your depression is weary, you get yourself out

In the Shadows #161102

Still there today yet in the shadows.

It’s so hard being such a strong soul all the time… Some days I do feel so all alone… God, please send someone to me… Someone to share life with me, someone to love me and someone to stand by me… Oh Lord how I long for someone to join me on my journey… ~Karen Kostyla

#gaychristians #gayfifty #northdakotagays #singleandfree #BeardedGay #northdakota #simple #grateful #greatfriends #itsawonderfullife #hopeful #prayer #faith #hope #love #Shadowlands #OutOfTheDarkness #WhatYouDontSee #WhatYouDontHear #MyLife #NotAshamed #EndStigma #LifeLived #WhyWeDontEngage #MyStoryMatters #StandTogether #WalkTogether

EMDR Treatment Discovery #161025

EMDR Treatment Discovery #161025: Loud crowds

So Anyways #160922

So anyways, I have stuff yet to work on regarding

Touch Isolation

Touch Isolation: How Homophobia Has Robbed All Men Of Touch
November 11, 2013 by Mark Greene

5 Reasons You Feel Lonely

5 Reasons You Feel Lonely Even When You're Not Alone —

EMDR Finding #160917

EMDR Finding #160917: My face actually feels

2016 Bismarck-Mandan Out of the Darkness Community Walk Address

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come?

My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth."

Psalm 121

Kevin R Tengesdal’s address with the 2016 Bismarck-Mandan Out of the Darkness Community Walk to help bring awareness to suicide attempts, depression, and PTSD, along with the stigma and silence of men and crisis mental health situations.

Update #160916

With help from my friends, I did it, and

share my story with a large, public gathering

It's weird(?) to be asked to share my story with a large, public gathering;

Today, I wear green

Today, I wear green for the Out of the Darkness Walk here in Bismarck to help bring awareness to suicide attempts, depression, and PTSD. Tonight, I share my story.

Another PTSD EMDR treatment breakthrough discovery

Another PTSD EMDR treatment breakthrough discovery thing.

Team One2One "Out of the Darkness" Bismarck/Mandan Walk #160829

   
Team One2One "Out of the Darkness" Bismarck/Mandan Walk

I have lived with depression and suicidal

Rambling Journal Entry #160825

Rambling Journal Entry #160825:

Up to this point,

This is My Ever-Growing Manifesto

Rambling Journal Entry #160820:

One of the many evils that I did unto myself during my first 50 years of childhood was perpetually purposing to please everyone to gain their acceptance and inclusion.

Update #160805

Here's the deal. A convention with thousands of crowds.

Final final PTSD EMDR treatment, maybe?

Final final PTSD EMDR treatment, maybe? Crazy how much improvement has come about with this.

So, with this trip, I discovered yet another trigger

So, with this trip, I discovered yet another trigger(?) that has been fixed(?)

Final(?) PTSD EMDR

Final(?) PTSD EMDR treatment therapy.

Update #160711

PTSD therapy session 03...

Update #160705

PTSD therapy session #2

My Life is an Open Book Ramble #160613

My Life is an Open Book Ramble #160613:
First session this morning of EMDR treatment for PTSD

Rambling Afternoon Journal Entry #160531

Rambling Afternoon Journal Entry #160531:
Just putting it on the line. I'm being treated for depressions, and

Sunday night summarizing.

So last week was a really difficult week. We had Franklin Graham in Bismarck on Wednesday, we had Donald Trump in Bismarck on Thursday. Friday was troublesome.

Coupled or Untethered

Reminding myself of several reasons it is good/ok/normal to be single, untethered, unsupervised:

Soul Alive

Sunday is long gone.

Tuesday is here present.

Gathering has dispersed.

Loneliness has appeared.

Lost in the shadows.

Grace always present.

Turn toward Him.

Soul alive.

Weeping whimpers

Weeping whimpers darken the shadows.
You have seen the shadows in the fog.
Hidden remains the darkness, locked.
You have heard the whimpers in the fog.
Silenced remains the weeping, stifled.
Stifle the fog, lock the fog.
Unseen and unheard,
Remains clamoring light,
Erasing shadows.

I don't know

I don't know. I have never been clinically diagnosed or stuff.